Originally posted on August 31, 2017
I don’t like to speak much about dudes in this scene because 2 out of 3 domme tweets are about men, but I’m seeing a lot of Quit Findom accounts and they make me fucking sick to my stomach.
First off, and I can’t stress this enough, if you want to quit findom, seek professional help! Period.
Also, if you want to leave findom, I applaud you. This scene is toxic and a horrible idea for the vast majority of men.
Anyone who tells you dumb shit like, “oh you can do this without professional help, I can help you,” is an idiot and really only about building up his ego rather than providing actual help. When someone starts fetishsizing things that can be potentially hurtful (ie getting aroused at becoming broke or being humiliated), you’re probably going to need real help from a person that is experienced in treating addiction. This is common sense.
The truth of the matter is that the vast majority of these accounts don’t have the first inkling of knowledge about addiction. Let’s take the most prominent of this group, user Findom Recovery, who took over the spot from the hilarious Coach Nick, yeah the guy that was moonlighting as a male dom on the side. Findom Recovery told me that he hasn’t “spent” on findom since January. Now, let’s put aside the fact that just because you’re not spending doesn’t mean that you don’t have a problem, SIX MONTHS IS FUCKING NOTHING.
SIX.
MONTHS.
IS.
NOTHING.
Addiction, cigarette addicts, alcoholics, and yes porn addicts are riddled with tales that see them relapse after YEARS of being away from their addictions. Yet this idiot is saying that he’s cured! The fact that he doesn’t know this suggests he doesn’t know the first thing about addiction and the fact that he’s offering to cure people is really problematic. I *wish* he would go into NOFAP and start talking like that, he’d get laughed at.
Now, Findom Recovery is also a controversial figure because his business model has been to argue with dommes rather than target his actual demographic, dudes. At one point, I think he was even going to podcast with Ceara Lynch (that podcast would have been so cringeworthy on both sides.) I contend that Findom Recovery argues with dommes because 1.) His recovery is absolute bullshit 2.) He gets off on arguing with dommes. Why not just make a couple of tweets with the #findom tag and let guys come to you. Or be like me and just start a blog?
Now, if any of these accounts just want to be a shoulder to cry on, I don’t find any fault in that. It really is good to talk to people going through the same thing in this hobby, it can get pretty lonely.
So in short, if you want to quit findom, fuck yeah! You’re great and I hope you succeed, but seek professional help. I know you can afford it because you can just reinvest the money you would have spent on a domme on a therapist.
